What a lovely honor to photograph Dan and Linda Bidwell. Our Happily Ever After project gets more and more interesting. In a world where half of marriages end in divorce, I find it comforting to see the other half — marriages surviving and thriving.

Linda Bidwell was the Drama and English Teacher at Lee High School. She was well known and always loved. She truly cared about the students and is still in touch with so many. I graduated in 1981 but never had the luck to have her as my teacher. But we had the opportunity to meet earlier this year at the funeral of one of my favorite teachers, Mrs. Lawson. Face Book brought us together as friends as I have been drawn to her posts about her garden. Seeing her posts about gardening and life together with her husband Dan made me curious to know more. In addition, I’m so excited and blessed to have Linda editing one of our new children’s books that Suzi and I are currently working on.

I met Dan for the first time on our photo shoot. I did happen to see on FB some cool pictures of him long ago with his long hair. From the moment I met Dan I could sense his gentle heart. As for Linda you could just see the beauty of their love and feel this incredible 37 year chemistry they have together. 

 Click above to view video!

Their Love Notes:

1. How did you meet, what attracted you to each other?

Linda: Dan and I both moved to Huntsville in 1975 and by luck were neighbors in the same apartment complex. What attracted me to him? Everything — the whole package. A flower child of the 60s, naturally I loved his gorgeous long hair and his good looks. but even more, I loved his gentleness, his honesty, his wit, his intelligence, and his quiet demeanor.

Dan: We were comfortable and natural friends right away. I was quiet and somewhat of a geek, and I certainly wasn’t a natural at trying to impress. I loved that she accepted me as I am and didn’t try to change me and didn’t need me to be something else. We just hit it off.

2. Describe a memorable story of the two of you.

Linda: This is a difficult question because we are a self-proclaimed boring couple, perfect little home bodies. I will relate a story to shows Dan’s thoughtfulness and his ability to make me smile. In 2000, I had a major surgical procedure at the Cleveland Clinic. As a friend describes it, I was literally cut in half and was hospitalized for 8 days without food or drink or even an ice chip. On the eighth day when my epidural was removed, I realized how painful the surgery was. When I asked my burley male nurse for some pain medication, he told me that because I hadn’t swallowed anything for 8 days, he wouldn’t give me oral meds, though the doctor had said I could have them. Eventually, the nurse did give me what seemed like children’s Tylenol, which didn’t touch the pain. I told Dan to go tell him that I wanted some serious pain relievers and if he didn’t comply, he was going down. Dan looked down at me lying in that hospital bed, smiled, and asked, “And who is taking him down? You and whose army?” I had to smile at my foolishness. In spite of being in pain, he made me laugh at myself. Several days later I was released to fly home. We didn’t go to the Cleveland airport; instead, we went to a private airstrip on Lake Erie where we boarded a chartered plane. Dan knew that I would be in pain and didn’t want me to endure the crowds and layovers of a commercial flight. That was my first and only chartered flight, and I will never forget it.

Dan: Our wedding day story. Until that day, we gave no notice to our parents or to anyone else. This was a real shocker to my parents because they lived out of town and had never met Linda. In fact, they were not even aware we were dating. We got married at the courthouse. There was no big proposal. The week before, we just decided to get hitched after Linda expressed a concern that she would not be given funeral leave from work if anything ever happened to me, but we knew all along that we would get married anyway.

3. Key ingredient to your success as a couple, biggest challenge to overcome?

Linda: Our relationship has just always worked for us. I take care of him and he takes care of me. I want to make him happy; he wants to make me happy. We support and love each other as we smile and journey together through life, laughing every chance we get.

Dan: For us, we never have to try to make it work. It just does. When we are at home, we often do our own thing, comfortable the other is close by. When one of us is away from home or is out of town, the other finds it more difficult to get things done. We are not clingy, but are extremely close, independent people.

4. Favorite quote of verse?

For me, it is a line from Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young.”

“Always do for others and let others do for you.”

I really don’t know that Dan, a man of very few words, has a favorite quote.

5. Best gift ever?

Linda: If Dan never went shopping, he would be a happy camper. Early on, I let him off the hook and told him he didn’t need to buy me gifts for Valentine’s Day, Christmas, my birthday, or any other holidays. This was fine for both of us. My sisters laugh when I tell them that Dan is tight with his money because, as they see it, he spoils me with lavish gifts. I suppose I should say that he is tight with is money, but when he spends, he really spends! He will likely think I will identify the best gift ever from him as the tractor with the front loader, but he would be wrong. I have three favorite gifts, the first of which is RK eye surgery back in the 80s when it was still experimental and not covered by insurance. Prior to the surgeries, I was highly myopic and astigmatic. After these four surgeries, we were outside one evening and I shrieked with delight because I saw blades of grass instead of a carpet of green. Thanks to him, I have enjoyed keen eyesight for a quarter of a century. Another favorite gift is custom made hiking boots. Every year we spend a week in the Smokies hiking those wonderful mountains. After decades of buying ill-fitting boots, he arranged for me to have boots made to fit my short, fat, 3 1/2 E-width foot. My third favorite gift reflects his kind, thoughtful nature. The day before Valentine’s Day many years ago, he made a CD for me. He secretly recorded a brief personal message followed by Bob Dylan’s recently released “Make You Feel My Love.” He put the CD in my car, knowing that I would listen to it on my way to work that day. He was a romantic when I met him and now 37 years later, he is every bit as romantic.

Dan: There is no pressure of having to do the right thing at the right time. Our gifts to each other are not because of holidays or occasions. We give each other gifts when the time feels right, which make them more meaningful. Back in 1984 following worrisome hours awaiting my late return from a motorcycle ride, Linda told me if I sold my bike I could buy that BMW I had been eyeing. Years later, she signed me up for a BMW Driving School, something I had talked about. We refer to this as the gift that keeps on giving. Was she ever surprised when the registration package arrived and she learned I’d have to buy a helmet. Little did she know that this was a Performance Driving School. Twenty-three years later, and four cars, several helmets, race tires, brake pads, performance suspensions, a trailer and Linda’s Porsche Cayenne for towing the race car. . .   Yep, the gift goes on and on. And I love it!

6. Something he/she does very well?

Dan: She takes such great care of me. What more could you ask for?

7. Favorite food? 

Dan’s favorite food is anything eaten at home. He prefers “Linda’s Cafe” to any other eating establishment. I swear when he gets home from work, he walks into the house sniffing to see if anything is cooking. For me, it’s Mexican. On our 25th anniversary, he told me he’d take me anywhere. I suggested San Antonio so we could feast on Mexican foods.

8. Something you still dream about doing but haven’t done yet?

Linda: Dan’s retirement, which is still years away.  We have no grandiose plans other than to enjoy our golden years together. Sure, we have a short bucket list of places we’d like to visit (Yellowstone with my sister and brother-in-law, a true Yellowstone expert), but mostly, we look forward to relaxing here at home.

Dan: I would like to take a European Riverboat Tour.

9. What hobby will you enjoy during retirement?

Boy, are we ever boring. Years ago Dan introduced me to organic vegetable gardening, something he enjoyed doing with his granddad. Before I met him, I had never heard of compost, and now I am the Queen of Composting! He taught me all about making compost, and because I had summers off and he didn’t, I took over the task. Believe me, I tell him how quickly I’m giving this chore back to him the day he retires. Of course, I’m only partly serious about that because I know how much faster shredding compost is when we work as a team. As others plan exotic trips, Dan and I dream of the days when we can hang around the house and piddle about, growing and sharing good ol’ veggies.

10. What does Love It Out mean to you?

Linda: At the end of her show, Ellen DeGeneres tells folks to “be kind to one another.” Indeed, if we were kind and patient and gentle in our dealings with others, love would come naturally.

Dan: Treat everyone with kindness and respect because we are all equals.

Thanks Linda & Dan for a lovely time! We so enjoyed your hospitality, your trail & gardens, conversation, and mostly your love story!

We loved their window seat with a garden view!

Alphabetized albums – A, B, C, DYLAN, E, F, G…

Your life is beautiful when you love it out! 

Happily Ever After Project: Featuring Mike & Patty Lowe

One pose we like to capture with each couple is “the sitting on the couch shot”. Of course for them, sitting on the couch is not common.
So here they are sitting on the Gator! That’s more like it!

Tony enjoys pony-sitting these two, Mocha and Cinnamon (even when they are stubborn – shaking apples in the tin can will get them in every time!)

 Patty, the pony whisperer.

Their Love Notes:

1. How did you meet, what attracted you to each other?

Mike: We met when I was 8 and Patty was 6. My brother and I were throwing snowballs at her (a beautiful little red haired girl) and a little puppy following her as she walked to school past our house. At first meeting, she justifiably had a strong dislike for me!

Patty: He’s right! I first met Mike and his brother as they delighted themselves by making me cry in their surprise snowball attack in an early morning snowstorm as I walked to school from my cousin’s house which was not far from theirs. Though he was 2 grades ahead of me, I came to know he was a good student, though mischievous – and both of those qualities were very appealing to me. As elementary school years went by, I saw Mike was a person of integrity and determination, and I secretly admired his achievement of Eagle Scout. Watching him perform with the Order of the Arrow Native American Dance Team, and because I loved to dance, I thought maybe we really could have some fun together!

Both coming from dysfunctional families, we could easily talk and share for hours with each other about our problems and issues, hurts and concerns, and dreams for a better future. We listened with our hearts and our souls became one. This bonding – listening, hearing, knowing, understanding each other with caring compassion was the basis of our attraction to each other.

We were teammates for several years on the city diving team and practiced together both in the pool and at the gym, perfecting flips and twists on the trampoline. We grew from being teammates to good friends, and then best friends. Patty was finally “allowed” to date when we were 14 and 16 and were married while in college at ages 19 and 21 … a 13 year courtship!

2. Describe a memorable story of the two of you.

One of our many favorite stories is that of our adventurous honeymoon … backpacking and mountain climbing for ten days in early June, 1969 in the Sierra Mountains of the northern area of Yosemite National Park. The highlight was our climb of Cathedral Peak.

There were still many feet of snow on the ground, and our 7 mile hike in to Cathedral Lake was up and down through continuous deep “sun-cups” – five to ten foot wide moguls melted into the snow. The lake was still frozen solid, so we had to bore through a foot if ice to get to water at our base camp to cook dehydrated food on our tiny gas stove. Being newly married and poor, the only tent we could afford was a plastic tube tent – little more than an over-sized garbage bag, open at both ends. Thanks to friends who gave wedding $ rather than “stuff”, we were able to have good down-filled sleeping bags that zipped together … and we had each other so we slept warmly while excited and anticipating our ascent to the summit of Cathedral Peak.

In his 1991 journal titled “My First Summer in the Sierra” John Muir, the Scottish-American naturalist and preservationist wrote, “No feature of all the noble landscape seems more wonderful than the Cathedral (Peak) itself, a temple displaying Nature’s best masonry and sermons in stones. How often I have gazed at it from the tops of hills and ridges, and through openings in the forests on my many short excursions, devoutly wondering, admiring, longing! This I may say is the first time I have been at church in California, led here at last, every door graciously opened for the poor lonely worshiper. In our best times everything turns to religion, all the world seems a church and the mountains altars. And lo, here I am at last in front of the blessed Cathedral, ringing her thousands of sweet-toned bells, the sweetest church music I ever enjoyed … listening, admiring until late in the afternoon.”

Our class 4 climb to the 11,000 ft. top of Cathedral peak was challenging fun with ropes and carabineers, trusting each other with our lives as we took turns on rope belay to reach the next crack or handhold, and eventually reaching the summit. The view was exhilarating as we hugged on the barely 9 sq ft mountain top!

(Images of Cathedral Peak provided by Mike & Patty)

Together on the wind-swept peak, we watched with wordless God-awe as storm clouds rolled across the granite landscape with an occasional finger of lightening striking far-off peaks. As the sun settled into the western horizon, we celebrated our love for creation and each other, then repelled off the peak and hiked back to our base camp where we talked of our dreams for eternity together and drifted to sleep trying to count all the stars a-glitter in the black night sky … a holy good beginning for our 45 years of marriage.

3. Key ingredient to your success as a couple, biggest challenge to overcome?

So far, through marriage we have learned that key ingredients in our marriage are faith and forgiveness … prayer and playfulness … listening and laughter … giving encouragement to reach for dreams … and loving – even when we are not liking. Marriage has taught us the value of commitment and creativity and compassion and compromise … the joy of caring for creation and nurturing nature … and always to be in awe of God’s gifts in each person and experience we encounter. Through the years of ‘loving it out’ we affirm we are not the center of the universe, but are intentionally created and called by Christ to reach out to others with compassion expressed through our hearts and our hands… and that we continually learn to love as we continue to love!

One of our biggest challenges to overcome but didn’t understand until midlife is that we are very different personality types. Both introverted and strongly intuitive, Mike processes data through critical analysis and makes analytical and judgmental decisions. Patty processes data through feelings and intuition, with decisions coming mostly through perceiving and discernment. Both of our personality types are a very low percentages of the general population and according to the personality gurus, our personalities are predicted to clash … and we know about the clashing! We like to defy odds, though, and we do know that opposites attract … and that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens us. By way of our woundings and weaknesses, differences and poor decisions … with our pledge to forever together, we have been made strong!

Often we have renewed our vows to grow old together; there is security in that. In our difficult times and our good times we have walked together. Yet, there have also been seasons when we didn’t like each other due to differing values and priorities and relationships with others. While we still yearned for the love and friendship and intimacy and romance and simple times of the early years of our lives together, the chaos and exhaustion of raising our three children with both of us in the midst of career demands certainly complicated our marriage relationship. There were times when either of us could have justified walking away, but every time grace broke through and forgiveness prevailed, and our love for each other was strengthed.

4. Favorite quote of verse?

Patty: For as long as I have known Mike, he has been a man of integrity. His mantra from an early age was “Live what you say you believe.” The meaning and living out of that for both of us has developed through the years as we have grown in our commitment to Christ and to each other.

Mike: Patty’s is a message of simplicity based on Psalm 46:10. She reminds us and others to …
Be still and know that I am God!
Be still and know that I am!
Be still and know!
Be still!
Be!

5. Best gift ever?

Patty: The best gift Mike gives to me is simply ‘presence’ … when he puts everything else aside – his agenda, commitments, personal desires, and all … and is intentional about spending time together … letting The Spirit guide us in play and prayer and spontaneity and creativity … in silence and in conversation … sharing everything on our hearts and minds to the very depths of our souls.

Mike: The best gift I ever received from Patty was a surprise birthday weekend excursion. She picked me up at work but wouldn’t tell me where we were going until we arrived at Gorham’s Bluff, a romantic inn overlooking the Tennessee River. Patty had secretly made reservations and arranged for a wonderful dinner with a favorite bottle of wine. After dinner, when back at our cottage, her birthday surprises kept coming when I found a French chocolate pie with whip cream on our bed pillows! Needless to say, it was one of the most romantic, playful, intimate evenings of lovin’ we’ve ever had! (Oh! Did we mention Mike’s birthday in is also the anniversary of our very first “real date” in 1963?)

6. Something he/she does very well?

Mike: Patty is a holy listener. When in conversation she is fully present to the other person, connecting at the spirit level with people, listening with ears and eyes and open mind, heart, and soul. An atmosphere of authenticity and trust is established almost instantaneously. Yielding to God’s time, she lets a conversation unfold and people respond in amazing ways sharing their problems, their life stories, and depths of their beings with her. Listening has always been natural for her, so it was not surprising when she became double certified as a Spiritual Director. She has amazing conversations with people of all ages, the youngest children to the most elderly … people she’s known for years and often those of momentary encounter. While in our teen years, her ‘listen-ability’ was part of what bonded us as best friends.

Patty: Mike is a visionary with the God-gift of being a futurist. I also admire and am grateful for Mike’s integrity and his gift of mentoring young adults and others who have aspirations for career development, even to the point of helping prepare one young engineer to take over his own professional managerial position! Mike has guided and encouraged our children and others to methodically attain their goals and dreams. He is a problem solver and a phenomenally creative thinker, so naturally he is an amazing CFFO (Chief Financial and Fix-it Officer!) at Flint River Animal Hospital and at home!

7. Favorite food? Favorite color? Explain.

Favorite Food:
Mike: Without question, Mike’s favorite food, for longer than I have known him, is chicken noodle soup. He would be happy to eat it 3 meals a day forever! I have a simple recipe for “Poppi’s Noodle Soup with Chicken” as it’s been named by our grandsons, and I concoct a huge pot of soup we enjoy for many meals. Mike says, “Every bowl is special … and I will never get tired of it!”

Patty: Favorite food? Red raspberries fresh out of our garden – food of the angels, she is sure! As a little girl she helped her mother pick berries in the huge raspberry patch on the Idaho farm where she grew up, though I’d bet she ate more than she ever dropped in her bucket! Now in our own garden, she picks raspberries, and I think she still eats more sun-warmed berries than she ever drops in her bucket!

Favorite Color:
Mike: Mike’s favorite color is blue, the color of his eyes … and he sees the world through those blue filters. His spirit resonates with blue, the color of a clear sky and deep sea, giving him a sense of harmony, faithfulness, confidence, inspiration, sincerity, truth, calm, and spirituality.

Patty: Patty’s favorite color is the rainbow – the gaiety of the flowers in our gardens … the mix of paints and pens she uses for drawing and painting … the hues of her moods from the warm yellows of the sun to the serene blues of the sky … the greens of creativity and the orange-ish pink-purples of clouds in the sunset.

8. Something you still dream about doing but haven’t done yet?

Mike: A dream I have had for as long as I can remember is to see the Fjords of Norway. Pictures of the fjords intrigue me and draw my spirit to them. I don’t know how this infatuation came to me. Maybe it’s my inherent Scandinavian ancestral roots. The only thing I can figure out is that my grandparents subscribed to the National Geographic magazine and there must have been an issue that featured Norway’s fjords that caught my attention as a child. It’s on our bucket list. We are retired now but have “not been careful what we have gotten good at” and are as busy in retirement as ever. One day we will go Norway’s fiords!

Patty: My dream is to give away all our possessions, save a few necessities including our dogs and cats and a few favorite garden flowers, some books and good music, and to live in a small moveable home, meandering where ever The Spirit leads … finding places along the way to para-sail and kayak, to zip-line and mountain climb, explore places not yet experienced together … and taking our eight grandchildren on all kinds of mind and soul expanding adventures!

9. What is a favorite thing we enjoy doing together?

When we have time and are moved by the spirit of playful curiosity, we will play “The Left- Right-or-Straight
Game”. With no intended destination or time schedule, we will go for a drive and at every intersection we alternate turns choosing to turn right or left or go straight. We experience wonder-full, beauty-full, unique back roads geography and scenery and people we wouldn’t have otherwise discovered if we hadn’t set ourselves free from the usual everyday shortest-time-direct-to-destination travel.

10. What does “love it out” mean to you?

“Love it out” means to be gratefully faithful to each other every day though, at times, it is difficult but right to choose sacrifice or compromise for the sake of the other over self-centered needs and desires.
“Love it out” means to honor our marriage covenant by working through difficulties and differences, to forgive seventy times seven, and to let God’s grace prevail
“Love it out” is to remember our story of love together again and again, to choose to fall in love with each other anew through time … and to make our promises to grow old together through any situation or circumstance come true …
“Love it out” is to be grateful beyond measure every day for the joy of loving together through life and death and into eternity.

11. Post Script:

It is good to tell our stories again and again. Every prophet and leader through Biblical history has reminded the next generations of the story of God’s people. As we re-tell our stories, we remember again who we are and whose we are as we acknowledge God’s grace in deliverance from our wrong choices and in the abundance of blessings in our right decisions. Forever we are grateful to God for the entwining of our long lives together … and for being Our Guide as we ‘love it out’ knowing our history is a part of His Story. Amen.

Celebrating your continued joy and years ahead together! Thanks Mike & Patty for the smiles!

View their Happily Ever After video:

YOUR life is beautiful, love it out!